Misogi Challenge, Misogi, and Ikigai

   

First trip to the lowest natural point in the Western Hemisphere, Badwater.

      Misogi. It's a term suggested by a mutual friend at my latest Ultra 100 attempt at the Javelina Jundred, which I DNF. After the race, Brian explained to me that Misogi Challenge is a practice where one attempts to accomplish something that likely has more than a fifty percent chance of failure. After hearing this, I wanted to research it further. This practice is designed to help you focus on the process to accomplish the task. If you are to accomplish a Misogi Challenge, you accept the feeling that anything is possible in the life that we live. Despite failing to accomplish my goal, I now realize that I am still able to grow and begin to see my limits expand.
     Subsequently, I was curious to get Eric's interpretation of Misogi, and he suggested another word to explore, which is Ikigai. His view of Misogi is a moment in everyday life that makes you realize you are living in the present. No thinking. No distraction. Just being. Ikigai... What is your purpose in life? What gets you up in the morning? What is your role in this Universe? What brings joy to your life? Who are you... Truly? These words, concepts, and challenges have now made me question my accomplishment. So I would have to separate them into three categories: Misogi Challenge, Misogi, and Ikigai. So let's dive into each of these for me.

     Looking back at recent moments, I certainly have attempted some Misogi Challenges. After leaving the Army and facing the unknown, I decided to live in a van and travel around the country, experiencing new adventures, and attempting more Ultra races. Despite being nervous to leave, I wanted to find happiness and not be discouraged by fear. So I went forth hoping for the best but ready to accept whatever came my way, and I've never been happier since. I challenged myself to attempt two 200 mile races. Is that possible? Am I capable of going 200 miles over various lands, on foot, in a specified time frame? I've only gone 100 miles before and that was hard and riddled with thoughts of failure. Through doubt, challenging moments, emotional highs and lows, and time, I came to realize that I was more than capable of completing such tasks. In fact, after completing those events, I had the euphoria that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to. Through time and a positive attitude, I feel I can accomplish anything that I have a passion and desire for.
     After the Tahoe 200, I took some time off from running, and did some volunteering to view things from the other side of the table. With only a few hikes and small runs, I decided to sign up for some races that I had thought of attempting, Javelina Jundred, ATY 6-Day, and Coldwater Rumble 100. Even with having just completed two 200 mile events within a month, I immediately began to get nervous and thought of "Can I do this? Can I still complete such an event?" First up was the Javelina Jundred, and the temperatures in Fountain Hills, AZ. were very hot when I arrived. With temperatures exceeding 90 degrees, I was surely out of my element. I was told by a friend, "You know bears don't belong in the desert!" My intent was to run a good hard first lap and then cool things off during the heat of the day and play it by ear. It felt good to get out and run again. This was going to be the first race that I was going to incorporate my Luna Sandals and begin to make that transition. My plan was to run a lap in them and then the next in Altra Lone Peak 3.0, and then back to the Lunas if I felt good about it. The first lap was fun but definitely different. There were so many runners that I had to constantly attend to people coming up from behind in order to pass, preventing me from just totally zoning out. I was able to run alongside Catra about halfway through the first lap for a couple of miles. We spoke about recent and previous races, and the PCT adventure that I am planning for May 2017. The lap went smooth as the temperatures rose just as fast as the sun. I strode into the start/finish line with a good time and feeling great. I chilled for about 30 minutes between the AS and van in order to change shoes and play with Azimuth, my dog. I headed out for my reverse lap and realized early on that I would need to adjust my work output to keep my body from over-heating. Along this entire course there is no shade but only the AS tents. With this awareness, I began to do a 1 minute run to 4 minute purposeful walk routine. I was able to cruise through this lap with a 15-minute mile pace. I was taking in plenty of fluids but was not urinating a good color. This heat was working my body hard. At the Jackass AS, I grabbed up a scoop of ice, put it in my cap, put it on my head, and took a seat. I felt the need to get control of my body heat. I still wasn't cooling off and then remembered that my palms are a good heat control point. I quickly grabbed a couple cubes and held them in my hands. Within 30 seconds I had this huge chill race through my body. "Ok, this is what I gotta do at each station!" I bused on down the trail to the next AS with the same routine and feeling good about it. When I arrived at the AS, what do you know... "We are out of ice..." Ok... No worries, it's only 4 miles back to the Jeadquarters and they've got to have ice at the Start/Finish line so I strode off with a calm mind. I came in having completed two laps (42 miles) in ten hours. There I met Eric's parents (Virinia and Roy). We chatted as I went to grab up some food to bring back to the van and relax a bit and oh yeah, some ice to cool down. "We're out of ice."... You've gotta be kidding me... Oh well we'll just lay down in the van, sunset is coming up, and things will cool off. We made it through the hard part of the day. Virginia and Roy helped out tremendously by bringing fruit and beer. They also happened to have a little bit of ice which was good enough to cool me down fast. With a quick clean up of the feet, good eats, and hydration I headed back out onto the trail after about an hour. I continued to move in my Altras and steadily into the first AS. Sunset was fast upon me and headlamp on. The next stretch was 6.5 miles over rocky terrain, not bad. As I progressed along the trail I began to realize my right foot was hurting. It wasn't just the regular foot aching... It was sharp pain through the side of it. Ok, you'll be fine cause the trail gets better after this section. Hmmmmm... People are shining their lights into the bush... What's up? There's a snake!!! Oh HELL to the NOsssss (as you can tell I am not a friend of the snake)! We cautiously moved past as it continued to move away from the trail. I came into Jackass AS (midpoint of loop) hobbling on my feet. I took a seat into what I thought was the medical section, but didn't find the medical personnel I needed. I sat down, took my shoes off, and began to massage them. Man did it hurt. I laid down for a bit and would walk around, then massaged my foot, bit it wasn't getting any better. Is it really worth sacrificing my future adventures or hobbling the next 48 miles and possibly seriously injuring myself? I just couldn't find any valid reason to continue so I decided to end this 100 mile fun run in the desert.
     I woke the next morning and walked very gingerly around. I didn't feel good about my DNF but I also wasn't down about it. I knew I made the right decision. That morning I chatted with Justin, Brian, and Heather as we anxiously waited for Jerrod to finish up his last lap. He was able to make it in before tit really heated up again. It was joyous to see so many runners continue to push through to the finish line. If you ever want to go to a good Halloween Party where good spirits are all around, Javelina Jundred can be one hell of a party for those not running.

     Misogi and Ikigai. More often than not I have at least one moment in each day where I am completely and utterly present. Lately, it has occurred while I walk Azimuth at night under the stars. The stars are just spectacular here in the desert. There's just something special about them. When I go through my practice on the mat I always tell myself to be a more present and compassionate person. This is a process that I strive for each and every day in order to be the best version of myself. Through my travels, I've continued to receive such tremendous support from everyone and how I inspire them. All I'm doing is traveling, living in a van, and running. Somehow this act is reaching out to people as they wish they could live freely as I do. I find their support encourages me to continue what I am doing. I feel we are helping each other along this journey of mine. Even though I don't know how long I'll do this. I'm sure the Universe will let me know when it's time to head in a different direction. I just hope it doesn't deviate too much from this life I've cultivated for myself at the present moment. Maybe this is my purpose in life. It makes me happy.

     I hope some of these thoughts stir up a conversation within yourself and your life's journey. Until next time, Be Good, Be Happy, Be You.

First Beer Mile... Crushed it!

With a calm mind...

     With the bad memories (hard times) of the Bigfoot 200 behind me I was now focusing on the Tahoe 200 beginning on September 9-12th. That gave me just over 3 weeks to recover. I wasn't sure if my feet would recover in that period but only time would tell. My mind went from freaking out during the Bigfoot 200 about doing the Tahoe 200 to just being calm. I now knew it was possible for me to complete such a task. Now I definitely still had the nerves but just more along the lines of anxiousness. I spent the time in between the two races to visit with friends and family that I haven't seen in many years and one's that I just raced with. It was a good feeling to know that all I had to do was recover and do short little runs/hikes in between the races. There would be nothing that I could do to better myself but get my feet into a healthy state again.
     I began my journey to the Tahoe 200 in Seattle to visit the Luna Sandals company. There hospitality and excitement for my journey was infectious.

After picking up a couple of Sandals I began my southern progress to Toledo, WA to visit with my older brothers close friend Jeremy Veigel and his family. They were very hospitable and spent some time down along the river to cool off from the hot days. From there I went on to hit the Oregon coastline starting in Astoria with a short visit with Tom and Peggy's family. Azimuth quickly settled herself into their place. I think she definitely loved the extra attention that she received at their place from the kids. I was able to get my first post Bigfoot run in with Tom and Peggy in my new Lunas. Many of us enablers were also able to convince Tom for doing an impromptu sign up of the Tahoe 200. We were getting close to two weeks out and the race was fast approaching. Onto the Bay area I had to go!

     It had been about 6-7 years since I was last in the San Fran area and was happy to be back in wine country! I was fortunate enough to meet Mama Love and Randy from my good friends Adam and Tasha. They took me in gracefully and made me feel right at home. I had initial intentions of only staying through the weekend but the very quickly came and gone! Randy took me out to a Giants baseball game, the driving range, had a pool party and was able to see Ricky and his family. All good times were had. I was able to sneak in a few more Luna Sandal runs along the Bay. With just about a week to go before gameday on the second 200 I headed out to South Lake Tahoe to assist in some course marking and anything else I could be of assistance with.

     I was able to get a good short trail marking section of about 13 miles in and I knew I was good to go until the race six days out from that point. I helped drive the crews around the rest of the time, helped to some set up, and on Wednesday I stepped away to get my mind right. Thursday came and gone and I was able to catch the football season opener with Tom at a pizza place for one last meal until race day. With morning here I was not jittery or anything... Just calm and ready for the task ahead. It was a beautiful day to start out this nice long event with so many unknowns but ready for whatever came my way. My intent was to have fun, be kind to others, and run my own race.

     Man that first hill was harder than I thought it would be. Even had to dig out the poles quickly. No sense in using more energy than I need to to look strong. I'm all about the second half of races. Once at the top of Ellis Peak the views just opened up! I knew I couldn't wait to return to get some pics of that section. I cruised in and out of the first couple of aid stations with no hurry but also no lolly gaggin around. My main focus for each aid station was to swap out socks and take care of my feet (they got beat up pretty bad during Bigfoot 200). I noticed early that I was having trouble eating on the trail but was confident that that would pass, hopefully sooner than later. The trails were super dusty so I often had a Buff over my nose and mouth if I was behind others or I would jump ahead of them if I felt that I could maintain a higher, comfortable pace. Things moved along and began to see regular people at aid stations like Amy, Bill, Mark, Tom, Rick, Catra, I'm sure I'm missing others. Still feeling good going into the first night a small group lead out of Wright's Lake AS which turned out to be fortunate for that section was messed with by some outsiders. A couple of people had the GPS tracker to the proper path. Eventually we ended up splitting up a bit on the last big hill where I was just sucking but put myself in a dark place and pushed hard because at this point I knew I was only a couple more miles away from Sierra Tahoe AS and I hadn't eaten much. I rolled into the AS feeling weak and just not right... My thoughts were affirmed by Tom and Todd saying I just didn't look good. I was like I'm gonna go lay down for about 2-3 hours and hit that reset button. Sure enough it wasn't the greatest of naps but I was off of my feet and when I awoke Todd said I looked a lot better. I put down a whole plate of hash browns, grapes, pickles, some soda and was like... Let's get back out there! Feeling better and on the section that I course marked I had a new found energy. I still wasn't feeling good about eating on the trail so I put it in my head to eat as much as I could at the AS and start taking in liquid calories for the trail (Gatorade or watered down soda or juice). I burst right into the Housewife Hill AS and saw Holly. She whipped up some mashed potatoes and put that run goo on my back per Vito's request (he saw how bad my back was at Bigfoot haha). I had purchased a smaller UD backpack so there was a lot less rubbing. I started to find my groove at each AS, sit down, take socks off, let feet dry, change socks, eat as much as I could during the process, then move on. 

     Over the next session it was fairly warm. I was getting tired so ended up sleeping off of the trail a couple of times just to make it into Armstrong's Pass. Once in there I saw Tom again and he looked a bit rough to say the least. He said he was getting ready to head out soon to Heavenly and I had planned to rest a bit. He headed out at about 4:20 pm and I rested and left around 5:45. I ended up catching up to him along the route about 3 miles up the trail and he was not doing well. He was able to collect his thoughts a bit and was going to head back down to Armstrong's Pass and get some rest in hopes that he would feel better. He wasn't moving that fast and once I left him I was like, "if I make it to that tree and he still hasn't left... I'm bringing him down myself." He was up and moving. I continued to make my way up the long switchback with him on my mind in hopes that he'll be well. I began to roll again once I hit the summit and cruised into Heavenly AS about at 11PM. Candice, "would you like some pizza?" Me, "hell yeah I would!" With all sleeping tents full I decided to not stay long. I ate, called Eric, slept on the pavement for about 30-45 mins, got up, ate again, and rolled out on this next very long section. I intended on doing this one at night so all was looking good.

     I was out of Heavenly AS all alone... I love that feeling for some reason. I cruised along the route and got surprised by Scott Rokis (Photographer of the Race) with some flashes out of the woods. This dude was out there in a boot just getting it! He was gonna do anything to get the right pictures taken, much props to that.

 I continued to move onto Tunnel Creek through the day. It was just filled with some absolutely breathtaking views. I wasn't moving the best during this section but with the mind set at an unrelenting forward progress attitude. I was just happy to be out there. I ended up catching Amy at Tunnel Creek AS and chatted it up a bit. I did my regular routine, had a change of clothes waiting for me, and even better... They had tacos at this station. I ate about 7 of them including a ton of other foods and drinks. I knew the next section had the "dreaded" power-line Hill with 1,500ft of climb over 1.2 miles I think. I was able to catch up to Amy prior to the hill and she gave me some thoughts on it for she lives in the area. I stood at the base with the sunset fast approaching, just how I wanted it. This hill didn't scare me in the slightest... It reminded me of many power-line chutes that I've done back in AK. I put on some Blue Suede, "I can't stop this feeling", put that smile on.... And 'PICKED IT UP' Gosh it felt great to just suffer at that exact moment. I just flew up that hill passing many others. This hill ain't gonna go no where just standing around. I got to the top in under 30 mins I believe. Turned that headlamp on towards the top and began to cruise down. I ended up stepping into a puddle that just wet my feet. I calmly found a rock to chill on, changed socks, and pushed on. With a huge burst in energy I was just flying past people, loved the hills from that point on. I was looking at the watch and was like ok... I should arrive around 10PM into Brockway B&B AS. Then I ran into a fellow runner who was in a bad way... No cell service... Just us runners who can only help each other. I quickly made the decision to stick by this guy until the next AS, which was about 6 miles out. He had troubles breathing and going up hill. He recalled going through this section in last year's race and just kept questioning why. Goes to show how you can't treat each race the same way. Things can always be different. We got into the AS safely at midnight. I became more mentally exhausted than physically and decided to shut it down for a bit. I was gonna lay down until 3AM and hopefully roll by 4. I got into the sleep tent that felt breezy, air mattress half filled and only a wool blanket. I fell asleep in no time with dreams that I was on a tropical island. That they had brought big heaters into the tent and... And I felt so warm until.... My 3 AM wake up call. Holy shit was it cold outside. I was freezing! I need to hurry up and get dressed and get to the heaters by the food. I sat there just rocking back and forth contemplating on getting up. Thoughts: you know you're going to warm up if you just get back on the trail and start moving. I spoke with Howie for a bit to where I said, "you look comfortable in that sleeping bag." He was like, "I dreamed about this on the trail while I was taking little trail naps." Within about 30 seconds he fell asleep in the chair, curled up in his sleeping bag next to the camp heater. I thought to myself... This is where dreams come true...
     I got up and said "20 out.) I put on some John Mayer 'Where the Light is' album and Jack Johnson 'Live in Paris' to follow and began to move down into the darkness. After about a couple of hours the sun had arisen and I was just in an awesome flow along the trail. I was running and in just a pure euphoria. Realizing I am the lucky one to be doing this. I cruised down into the next AS, went through my process, joked around with everyone there while being a goof ball myself with funny photos.

I was quickly out with intents to catch some folks ahead like MeepMeep. I was off with the music turned up and up beat. I felt unstoppable with only like 30 miles left to go and an ambition to not see another night. Could I finish in under 84 hours? I sure as hell was gonna try dammit!

     I continued to move lightly on my feet, up and down the hills. I rolled past fellow runners taking naps on the sides of the trail or just suffering up them. I rolled into the last AS with Tom there awaiting me and ready to help. I was going through my AS routine, asking about other runners up ahead (Daro), could I catch them, where's MeepMeep, I passed him? How? I didn't see him? After about 45 mins he came in looking rough and wanting to quit. Man he was rough. Hey lay down, I'll let you use my cold weather jacket (Tom to MeepMeep), you're good man. I knew with about 16 miles to go and less than 5 hours to do so I had to roll if I wanted to make my under 84 hr cutoff. Also... Maybe I can hit the sunset at Ellis Peak... That would make for some good photos that I could take, gotta go! 

     I swiftly moved on with my mind on one thing... Under 84, under 84. But man Candice sure didn't make that last leg easy... Rough terrain to climb up on that last big climb. Why Candice, Why!!! I just kept feeling like I wasn't going to make the 84... Sunset. Get to the sunset if anything. Still no sight of Daro. Finally... I've made it to the return of the original out and back. I know where I am. Only about two miles to the Ellis Peak area and we'll rest there and capture pictures. Through the trees and into the open I see it. Wait! I see movement! It's gotta be Daro! Oh I'm gonna catch him. New energy burst! As I rolled along I now noticed that it wasn't Daro but Scott Rokis and two others taking photos and video. Well shit... I've gotta give them something to use. Damn this sunset is beautiful. Give them something! I kept moving and began to pick it up as the sun crested beyond the mountains. It was all down hill from there but still pushing the 84 hr time limit I had put on myself. I ran. I ran harder and faster. Gotta get it. Onto the face of the first hill I was knowing it was going to be close but I'm moving fast. Eeeerrrrrr!!!! A shot station!! Tequila, Fireball, or PBR... Your choice with 1 mile to go! Fireball it is! It hurt a bit but I knew I was there. The finish was right there. 83:38 hr:min I believe. More that 14 hours better than my time at Bigfoot 200, crazy. It was a crazy fun race and what made it even better was the fact that I had a blast the whole way with no negative thoughts. My 2 200 mile races were now completed. Us humans can do some amazing things so never doubt yourself. Shit look at me... I'm not your typical ultra runner body. We are capable of doing so much more than we think we can. So I urge each of us to get out there and explore yourself. We never know when our time will come so we might as well live while we can.

Stepping into Madness...

     On the morning on August 12th I was at the bottom of Mount St. Helens awaiting the beginning of my biggest challenge to date, a 205 mile adventure through the rugged terrain of the cascades. I had purposely not looked at any checkpoint descriptions or terrain analysis. I just wanted to go out there and be myself and not overwhelm myself with the details. I was pleased to know some of the other runners that would be tempting this treacherous course. Some that I had just met a couple weeks ago and one that I met back at Cowles Lake checkpoint at the Susitna 100 winter ultra race, Sarah Duffy. I was able to track her down prior to the gun going off and snapped a quick photo not knowing if I'd see her along the trail again.
     The countdown clock was on crack and before I knew it our 105 hr cutoff time was getting closer. It was a hot day and from racers in the past year having said the first 30+ miles were pretty shadeless I was intent on keeping my cool, body temp style. I was going to move intently but not so much to over exert myself so early in the race. Moving was easy and exhilarating filled with good conversation all along the trail, across boulders, and lava rocks all the way to the first checkpoint. Feeling good and happy. After some quick eats and drinks I set out onto the trail once again but this time alongside Sarah. The runners were beginning to spread out along the trail. We cruised along through the desolate blowout areas of Mt. Saint Helens wondering if we had somehow ended up in the desert of Arizona. I was in search of Cactus to prove my theory that we were. We kept up a good pace but with the heat heating up... Soon we were running really low on water and knew we still had some miles to track before the next checkpoint. I guess it would've been good to check and see if there was a clean water spot along the route, oh well. Oh look there seems to be a hang up of runners up there... I wonder whats going on??? Oasis!!!I drank a quick half gallon or so of water before I even knew what was going on. Hands in water, kicked off shoes, cooled down. With new found hydration and refilled bottles we hit the trail again with purpose. On this leg we happen to run into a couple that looked like the gentleman was having a rough time. He was overheating and vomiting... Not good to be happening only 25 or so miles in. We passed with hopes that things would turn around for him with the sunset coming upon us withing the next couple hours. The couple would happen to be the team of Sara and Jared (we see them throughout the rest of the course). Now imagine for a brief second that while you are hiking somewhere and you see these crazy routes that get steep and high quickly and another that can get you to the same location but nice and easy. Well on Candace Burt's courses you will always find yourself on the steep badass section cause they make for greater views and stories, haha. At checkpoint two I get my traditional leg cramps (usually between 30-40 miles in) as usual which makes for a hell of a time putting shoes back on when you want to get moving again. With two short legs coming up and the sun setting Sarah and me head back onto the course in good spirits. From here on out I'm just going to refer to Sarah and me as we. I think little did we know that we would spend the rest of the time on the Bigfoot 200 course by each others side, me leading, Sarah leading, or just minutes separating us at most on the course when one was feeling good or wanted some own time.
     We kept moving briskly all the way to the fourth checkpoint where we were going to make a decision to get a bit of sleep prior to a big leg with lots of climbing. We got less sleep than I would have preferred but its always good to head out into the darkness with a thunder buddy. While at Coldwater CP I met Sarah's crew composed of the hilarious, good spirited, ever helpful Billy and the tenacious, story filled Anne. These two would become essential into our success out on the trail by either pacing, crewing, or recharging our spirits with huge smiles and support. We head out at like 1 am through Norway pass, one of the harder ones. We wanted to do a lot of the climbing in the dark and a lot of climbing there was. Anne was pacing us while I was barely hanging onto the back. My thoughts were negative at this point in time. I wanted to quit so badly, twist an ankle, give me reason to be pulled by a medic, something!! We stopped briefly on the side of and open ridge area and I just curled up into a little ball and tried to get some semblance of a nap to hopefully dream myself out of this nightmare I had gotten myself into. Damn... I signed up for the Tahoe 200, which was only a few weeks after this race, also.... Stupid! Maybe I can volunteer my time instead to Candace and she can roll me into next years Race if I'm up to it, yeah. Before I could think 25 minutes had passed and I was shivering to no end, down and out but with Sarah and Anne saying we are going to move and you're coming with. Well the macho inside wasn't going to be left behind so we moved. Up and up we went through the wee hours of the morning, through the pass overlooking Spirit Lake and some other one. We sat atop Margaret Mountain looking back at all that we had traveled but I had no desire to take it in. I loathed the trail at that point. Hitting the high point of the course meant we were going to head down. It was slow until Sarah took a cat nap and then blazed past us! I soon enough was able to grease up the ole joints and get them moving very graciously down to the next checkpoint.
     Into the next checkpoint we went, got some breakfast burritos, drinks, refills, restroom, against my want to get some rest we hit the trail again with heavy chaffing beginning to settle in after 65 miles and feet taking a pounding. Each take off from here on out would become a gradual movement to work everything into a comfortable sense and let the body send chemicals to mask up the pains. Norway to Elk was slow moving and terrible trail with big riveted trail from bikers but we both kept pushing. At Elk we both laid down for a bit, even though it wasn't a sleep station. I got about and hour and Sarah about an hour and a half. We were intent on reaching over 100 miles before the end of day two. We were in better spirits after some shut eye and renewed energy and a change of clothes for me at the next aid station, yay! With a quick arrival and realizing we had about 20+ miles to the next actual sleep station we got a quick nap in at the mile 90 CP and hit the trail with Billy up to Spencer Butte CP. It was easy going but ended up being a lot more climbing than we had thought. We saw a lot of bear scat along the trail and when Sarah and I had pushed hard forward Billy ended up having an encounter with the bear that was leaving these markings. Thankfully nothing happened to Billy for this was not his first rodeo with a bear! At Spencer we met up with Todd, Head Medic, and he began to do his magic on our feet. I got worked on first as we both ate a ton of food, rehydrated, and prepped for the next leg. When Sarah was getting worked on I felt like a moment like that shouldn't be squandered on a good cat nap in the chair. If the Military taught me one thing... Its sleep when you can. They tried to play games with me saying I'd slept for an hour but i knew better. With bellies full, spirits high, past the 100 mile maker, we pushed onto Lewis CP. A good part of it was downhill with a couple of hills but nothing serious. Along the river there were beautiful sight of multiple waterfalls and we took in the views. We both discussed how at any other time we would've pulled up a chair, some beer, and just sat along the river. Into the checkpoint 111 mile marker at just over two days in we went and got some much needed rest, about two hours I think. We woke up feeling hot from the sun, at least I did, and moved to refuel and move out. We all left with notes from the CP that were meant to be opened in a time of when we were at our worst (I don't believe we ever ended up opening them).
     With this next big leg Anne set the pace and it was hard (for me). Soon enough I was just overheating, sweating profusely, and needed to draw it back. Anne and Sarah pushed forward as I moved at a pace comfortable for me. A step forward is a step towards the finish. We moved along to a point where all of a sudden I was leading a leisurely pace and Sarah was getting some personal time. At one point Anne was like, "I can tell you a story or I can leave you to your thoughts?" My response was classic I'd have to say, "there is nothing going on up here (as I pointed my trekking poles to my head). Go ahead with your story!" I was still moving ruggedly along the trail all through the wonderful story of how she met her husband. Soon after I put on my first tunes of the race, 'hooked on a feeling" by Blue Suede and man did that turn things around for this guy. Before I knew it we were tracking other runners down and cruising along feeling anew. We just curiously happen to run into Council Bluffs CP way earlier than any of us had thought. That CP was on point with experimental food and very active volunteers and oh man... a seat by the fire! With energy flowing through the both of us we only stayed a bit and hit the trail again. When you feel good you gotta keep going with it until you lose it. I continued the music and conversation with Anne as we cruised into the Chain of Lakes CP. I passed by more runners and even got one that was just by the wayside in a bad way. Was able to get him up and going knowing we only had about a mile or so to the CP. I rolled in before Sarah at about 1 am and wanted to sleep until about 4 am but told Billy to wake me up whenever Sarah had desired. I was woken up at about 330 am I believe. I was slow moving so I told Sarah to go on without me and hopefully I'll see here down the line. I left about 20 mins after her. I caught up to her after about an hour or so but I moved on past being I was feeling good. I felt all alone for a while but she and I were never more than a few minutes apart. Through this morning knowing we only had about 60 or so miles left I began to feel emotional. Was thinking of Azimuth at the finish. Thinking I can't believe I'm still here moving.Just everything was compounding and soon I was holding back tears. It was all just overwhelming for unknown reasons. This section of the trail was hard with a nice long climb up to Elk peak. I went up it a couple weeks prior with Tom so I knew what I was looking for but there were so many false summits and the sun was out to play. Kept plugging away and cursed my way all the way to the top and back down Elk peak, thanks Candace. Oh Klickitat.... Oh Klickitat CP, thank you. Who would've thought that I would get a good clean up with a foot/calf wash and massage! Feet retaped, plenty of food, dry clothes, ready to take on the last really hard section. We left feeling as good as one could feel after 157 miles and a little less than 50 to go. We moved good until about two or so hours in and then it became looking at one another and agreeing to take trail naps. "Put us on the clock Sarah!" After multiple ones Sarah began to question if the race was even going on any more. I began to question the same. After about two more hours of that I stopped us and was like, "lets get some solid food in us, get off of our feet. Once we get up lets put on our own music, and we need to pick it up." Sarah, "pick it all up." We both laughed and then it began. We were just moving along and I was looking for any sign of the trail that I knew. Darkness fell upon us and I found myself on a familiar part of the trail. "I know Where I AM!" I waited for Sarah to catch back up and told her we were less than 2 miles out, I'll run forward and have food ready once you arrive. I took off like no other as if I had just hit the trail. Twin Sisters CP is here as were we. I was so elated to be there for I knew the next section of the trail and we only had 28 more miles until we would be done.
     Laying down for some much needed rest was just awesome. We were in the rest stop with Jared and Sara. I got woken up by George slipping into the tent and we chatted a bit. All was good and we continued to check in with each other along the route to make sure we were all good. Wake up time always happens sooner than later out on the trail but we only had a bit more to go so it was a good feeling. Lots of hot coco does the body good in a cold morning. We were up with Jared and Sara but unfortunately Someone had taken Jared's shoes. He had the absolutely best outlook on it saying that there is nothing he can do about it until his shoes get returned so they ended up getting an extra couple of hours of rest. Just awesome. We hit the trail with some spunk and moved. We took a short breath at the top of Pompey Peak. Shut off the headlamps, gazed at the stars, looked at the other headlamps and car light all around. It was all downhill from that point with a big section of tree blowdowns. We ended up getting separated and Sarah got lost for a bit. I got out of the woods at around 530-40ish. I laid down with feet elevated and waited for Sarah to come out. Before I knew it she stumbled out around 630 am. She had tripped over some logs, got turned around but thankfully out ok. Man... last long stretch of about 5-6 miles to next station with a slight decline the whole way. We picked up the pace again as Sarah was having illusions of bears. I cruised on down to the checkpoint passing Billy and Todd along the way. Always so good to see familiar faces along the way. We only were at Owens Creek CP for a bit for only a half marathon awaited us until we would be done.
     The next 13 miles were on gravel and paved roads. A big 3-4 miles downhill and then flat from there on out. This was it! We were going to actually do this thing! We ran until we couldn't, walked up little hills, run again, run two light poles and walk one all the way to the end. We had arrived to the finish together having completed about 192 of 205 miles together. Biggest accomplishment so far to date for myself. Along the trail we had discussed how we had no desire to ever do such a race again. Beer, food, naps in the merchandise isle are things that filled the rest of the day all the way until the last finished finished with about 20 minutes remaining until cutoff. So surreal to have actually completed such a feat. I went to bed that night with thoughts of swearing off such an adventure again.
     I woke up the next morning moving decently well. I helped pack up the finish line area  and loaded up the trailer. Soon thoughts of sickness overcame me... "I can do better next time." Just the notion of taking steps forward one can achieve anything and when you have a passion for running you will find yourself stepping towards what others would consider madness but for this community... It's bliss. It's those moments that we are able to pull ourselves out of the darkness and test the human spirit that we crave. What a crazy ride it was and I will most likely return at somepoint but up next is the Tahoe 200 and I'm feeling good about it and excited to see/meet new friends there.

"Poor decisions.... Make for better stories"

Contemplation and knowledge gained with new appreciation

     Azimuth and myself continued to work my way down to Randle, WA, where the Bigfoot 200 ends, and the race start date is getting closer and closer. If there's one thing I'm sure of it's that time is ever passing us. I am feeling pretty good about the race (still nerves) and excited for the opportunity to really suffer again. With a couple of days until the volunteer trail maintenance party for the weekend I am lucky enough to have a friend, Geoff Maggay, put me up for a night and reset before I hit the road. It felt so great to take a shower after two weeks of multiple runs, river and lake washes, and just plain old wash cloth sessions. I am truly grateful to know many good human beings such as Geoff who are willing to help me out along this journey. So fair warning, if I get an open invitation to stop by if I am in the area... I'll probably take you up on it. I headed out after having dinner with him and headed to Randle to set up shop for the next two days of trail work.
     The next morning I met a very jovial, like minded group of people who were eager to get to work on the trails. Amongst this group was Matt, Ned, Carl, Tom, Garrett, Candice, Jesse, Amy, Becky, Josh, 4 dogs, and myself (if I missed you I apologize). Our goal was to cleanup as much of the trail as we could from the Owens Creek Checkpoint to the Twin Sisters CP. There were lots of blowouts along the trail and trimming of the vegetation all around. We all worked hard and fast clearing a good portion until we replenished our fuel supply with a late lunch break. Having cleared a good portion of what we explored (which ended up only being 2 of 15 miles) we decide to just take a small group (Candice, Matt, Hank, River, Azimuth, and myself) consisting of 3 humans and 3 dogs with a bow saw, small hand saw, and a machete and make our way from Owens Creek to Twin Sisters. The rest of the group drove to twin sisters cp and began to work backwards on the trail and set up for the evening meal, vegan chili (delicious)! The small group was working furiously along the trail just hacking and sawing at anything insight. This was working good until we lost accountability of ole Hank and he jumped over and under downed trees and got in the way of a downward swing of the machete!!!! With the swing coming down to a yelp from Hank... We all froze and looked at Hank as he ran off, turned around, and looked at us. I will inform you that Hank is a chihuahua (maybe a mix with another). We all huddled around him as he acted as if nothing had happened to him. He was bleeding from the top of his head with about a 1/4 inch cut on the top of his head. We had to create an improvised bandage over his head, put him in Candice's backpack and began moving forward a lot faster, for we knew we had a long ways to go before we got to Twin Sisters. The hacking and sawing continued and taking note of locations to bring the chainsaws out to. The views along the way were just breath taking but we still felt a sense of urgency to keep moving. As the sun was falling out of the sky, so did the temps but gave us an unforgettable sunset through the valley. Up and around the bend we hear the calls coming from the camp and we finally know we are close. Side note, if you are ever traveling with one Candice Burt... Don't trust the distance of how much is left. Always add to be safe, haha (all in kind heart Candice). It  was great to get off the feet, eat some delicious chili with cornbread and have so chocolate chip cookies as we sipped beer into the night.
     Sitting there in a circle, around the imaginable fire, we conversed out so many things from religion to politics then to which basically came down to our contemplation of our existence and our purpose. Each person has their own purposeful role in the  realm of Earth, whether it be good or bad. Take Candice for example, she inexplicably is fulfilling peoples dreams by putting on events such as the Bigfoot 200/Tahoe 200. That's a very powerful thing/responsibility that she has taken on. Garrett if a full time volunteer coordinator for Candice, Tom is a principal, Carl is a federal agent, Jesse a computer engineer, I live in a van and somehow people we amazed to just meet someone who does that and get my perspective on things and my purpose. It was great conversation with an even great view of the stars. Man I can just gaze at the stars endlessly and still me amazed. I hadn't looked up at them in so long for some reason. They still give me the feeling of being so tiny in this great big universe. I saw over a handful of shooting stars and I still continue to wish for good in the world.
     The next day was much of the same as I assisted a team out to the big blowout area of the trail and let Jesse and Garrett go to town on the trees and making a more clear path for the future hikers and runners of the trail. At the end of the day we gathered up for some such needed grub in Randle called Mt. Adams Cafe. The next thing on the menu was planning out the travel plans for marking the course now. Having hiked almost 30 miles over the weekend the race within two weeks I said I'm good to drive but gonna calm down on the miles until the race. The next morning they, Garrett and Candice, were prepping their backpacks with markers, post, hammer, stapler, staples, water, food, clothing, etc.... Their bags coming out to over 40 lbs and both of them going to be traveling over 100 miles each most likely. Crazy. My eyes have been opened to the humongous undertaking that they have ahead of them and just how much Race Directors/Coordinators go through. I can truly say that I am thankful that she is my RD for the next two races. I have an even more appreciation for all the RD out there who are putting on such events, thank you.
     I was so happy to come out and volunteer (give back) to the trail and learn so much. To converse with other like minded individuals, even though they probably do most of the talking until I get a few beers in me. I am going to have to seek out more volunteer opportunities for cleaning, marking, and aid stations for other/future races. Be a pacer for someone! Just simply help more. About a week and a half out from the Bigfoot 200... I'm ready for one hell of a ride in the mountains!

The Mountains

     I've managed to travel from Fairbanks, AK to Bellingham, WA in just under two weeks. I did all of this travel while spending some time in Whitehorse, YT and Squamish, BC. I have been asked if I like living in a van by the many I have known and met on the road and trails. First, I always preface the excitement about living in a van with, "it may just all seem surreal right now to me but time will tell." Secondly, I often respond by saying, "I wonder why I hadn't done it earlier." I find myself questioning everything I've done and why I have lived in excess my whole life. Always feeling like I needed the next best thing. Now I just look at what do I need to get through the day? What type of fuel would I like to refuel my next run? Where are the hardest local trails? Must see spots? My life feels simplified and the best I could have imagined.
     The last two weeks that I've spent traveling and being in the Mountains!! I spent a couple days in Whitehorse where I went up Mount Lorne, Grey mountain, Mount White, Golden Horn, and Frog Lake Trail. All of them had beautiful views from the top. Mount Lorne was the longest of them all but truly had that journey of the mountains because I was shrouded in whisking clouds. Along the ridge lines at times I could only see 10 meters in front of me. I really enjoy the mixture of running and scrambling to the top with no trail to be seen. From there I spent the next two days on the road and into Squamish, BC. I had originally planned on Whistler/Pemberton but there was a scheduled Ironman event going on that weekend and it was just crazy packed, no thanks. I somehow ended up at the Elfin lakes trailhead, which was recommended to me by a friend, without even noticing that was the trail he had recommended. Crazy coincidence I thought. I met some mountain bikers that were up there from Bellingham. They told me of some places to check out while down here. They were a good group of people to interact with and the loved Azimuth of course. I was a little perturbed to find out that most of the Squamish trails don't allow dogs on the trails so I had to leave her behind with the MTB guys while I hit the trail.  The sweeping views of the mountains and lakes are... Words cannot explain and pictures can only say so much about that moment. After that I moved on down to Bellingham, WA. I came into town, found a coffee shop with WiFi and scouted out the area for the next days adventures. I realized I would have to visit the Mt. Baker recreational area to find what I was looking for. I found a nice little pullover area so that the next morning I could purchase a one-day pass to the NFS area. I was looking for elevation gain and views. I settled on Church Mountain and Goat Mountain trails as the goals for the day. The original totals looked like 8.5 miles and 3,800ft vert gain for Church mountain and 6.4 miles and 2,900 vert gain for Goat mountain. Church Mt. was a great trail, very clean and gave me a good sweat. Met some families from S. Korea on the trail and a strong tandem of ladies on the trail that I was able to share the summit with. In the early afternoon I found my way to the base of Goat Mt. trail. As posted by the board and my interpretation of trails that state Mountain it means that I should arrive to a summit at some point. I came to realize that after I had already passed the 3.2 stated miles and looking up to at least another 1k plus of vert gain left to just reach the top that I had been fooled. Ground springs can be a life savior when plans change because I was going to reach the summit some way, some how. I was able to navigate my way to an older trail that led to the top and traversing some snow made the journey much more worth it.

Mt. Baker

     Arriving to the top of any mountain just brings this huge rush of pride and gratefulness for being there. At the base of each on I have thoughts of doubt on making it to the top. "Will I have enough to get there today. Will thoughts creep in that will discourage me to turn back. Will obstacle appear that 'allow' me to turn back." Things like this go through my head almost all the time but with each passing moment I continue to get stronger and my danger/risk tolerance is growing as do my abilities.
     Van life. I have loved it so far even though it comes with its moments. The moments more or less come with my interaction with Azimuth, dog. From when she wants to come up to me while I'm driving and just lay all over the phone, camera, drinks, etc... To when she wants to come out and I'm trying to leash her up and she just knocks over her food. Her food seems to get knocked over on a daily basis. Overall though I am enjoying my time on the road and in the wilderness. Better than I could have ever imagined. Until next time may you find happy trails in your life!

An ending brings on a new beginning

A Short Message

By Shaun DeCasas

     My name is Shaun and my short 14 year stint with the Military has come to a conclusion. I recognized that I no longer had a love for what I did so change was inline. I hungered for something that would allow me to grow, feel free, and to travel whenever and wherever I so shall desired. I have recently (just under 2 years) discovered the truly passionate sport of Ultra Running via a great friend of mine, Eric Roberts. Since my introduction to the most human testing sport I have ran in 3 100+ mile winter Ultras, two 50 milers, and a 24 hour event. I can't seem to get enough visiting time with myself in the highest of highs and lowest of lows. The ups and downs that Ultras bring are just what I crave. I am also in amazement for how awesome we each are as individuals and the overwhelming positivity that the community holds. Now that I have so much time on my hand I will be traveling and running and looking for them awe moments. Azimuth, my goof of a dog, will be there to share in the experiences. I should state that I am not the most educated man so when it comes to writing I'm sure there are a ton of grammatical errors. I will do my best to get better along the way. 

     For now my only things on the docket are the Bigfoot 200 ( 13-16 August), Tahoe 200 (9-12 September), Susitna 100, and ITI 130 (both in Feb '17). I am debating on the Javelina Jundred and the ATY 6-day events. I figure I'll just make decisions along the way, don't want to tie myself down too much. Along the route I am also looking to do some volunteer work on the trails and for race, gotta give back.

     I'm gonna keep this short for I want to get out onto the road and see where it takes me. I will say I don't know how long I shall choose to live the van life and free roam cause this journey is about discovery. I have chosen to chase down a passion and figure what's the worst that could happen. To all those I have had the privileged to work with know that I am grateful for our interaction for it has made me into who I am today. I can't thank you enough for the time. Until next time I'll leave you all with this, "It's a dangerous business going out of your door, you step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you might be swept off to."  -Bilbo Baggins